If you're struggling to meet new people, here's some common-sense advice for increasing your networking.Start Small
If the idea of approaching people you don't know intimidates you, then begin your networking efforts by seeking out familiar faces, such as relatives and friends.
You can do a significant amount of valuable networking without ever having to make a cold call. Start with someone you know instead of a stranger. It demystifies the networking process and helps gets you over the hurdle. A series of successful conversations will make you more confident.
A logical next step after talking with friends and family is to pursue old chums and people who graduated from your college. Your alumni network can be a gold mine of connections, if you have one. It exists for the purpose of networking, so contacting an alum out of the blue shouldn't feel like a cold call. After all, they joined the network to make and take such calls.
Don't Apologise
Introverts and inexperienced networkers often apologise when asking for an individual's help because they see networking as an imposition, not as an exercise in relationship building. They feel like they're asking someone to do them a favour.
Apologising simply demonstrates your lack of professionalism and confidence. It's also annoying and juvenile. You don't have to apologise for asking for help. You don't have to apologise for wanting to learn more about the individual with whom you're networking. One day you may be able to help them out.
Reach down deep
Humans are hard-wired as communal, tribal animals, so the shy person isn't shy by nature. They are made shy by circumstances or design. Something happened to them to make them want to recoil in these situations.
Sometimes, when an introvert hears that he's not inherently a loner, that humans are innately social creatures, the realization helps him emerge from his shell of shyness, he says.
The Wisdom of Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie literally wrote the original book on networking in 1936. 'How to Win Friends and Influence People', it demystified the process of making friends out of strangers and inspired legions of business coaches to carry on Carnegie's message.
Smile:
Sometimes, when an introvert hears that he's not inherently a loner, that humans are innately social creatures, the realization helps him emerge from his shell of shyness, he says.
The Wisdom of Dale Carnegie
Dale Carnegie literally wrote the original book on networking in 1936. 'How to Win Friends and Influence People', it demystified the process of making friends out of strangers and inspired legions of business coaches to carry on Carnegie's message.
Smile:
This is such a simple, basic rule, yet people just don't think about it. They're so focused on needing to network at a conference that they don't realise they're walking around with a scowl on their face. Scowling, serious, expressions are forbidding. People are more likely to warm up to someone who says good morning with a broad smile than they are to someone with a dour countenance.
Ask questions:
Ask questions:
Joining a group engaged in conversation can be awkward. The best way to do so is to pose a question to the group after getting the gist of the conversation. You build your credibility by asking a question, and for a shy person, that's a much easier way to engage than by barging in with an opinion, even if you have one.
Listen:
Listen:
One of the most profound points Carnegie made in How to Win Friends was that people love to talk about themselves. If you can get people to discuss their experiences and opinions, and listen with (apparent) sincere interest, you can have a great conversation with someone without having to say very much at all.
Business cards:
Business cards:
Always have them handy. That's why you paid so much to have them printed. They're an effective way for you to leave your name behind so that people remember who and what you are.
Speak the person's name:
Speak the person's name:
People like to hear their own name, it's attention getting and holding. A person's name is the sweetest sound to that person. So when you meet someone, use their name in conversation. Doing so makes the other person feel more comfortable, like you really know him and he knows you.
Be Yourself
Many introverted professionals think they have to act like an extrovert in networking situations. While you do have to make an effort to be more gregarious than normal, don't try to fake it too much. You should never come across as artificial.
You don't have to be the golden tongued schmoozer. The problem with the schmoozer's approach to networking is that they don't have the right intent. Their not interested in helping other people, only themself and everyone knows that.
Be Yourself
Many introverted professionals think they have to act like an extrovert in networking situations. While you do have to make an effort to be more gregarious than normal, don't try to fake it too much. You should never come across as artificial.
You don't have to be the golden tongued schmoozer. The problem with the schmoozer's approach to networking is that they don't have the right intent. Their not interested in helping other people, only themself and everyone knows that.
Be Passionate
Join activity clubs or grups and attend events that relate to an interest or activity you enjoy. If you enjoy wine, attend a wine tasting at your local liquor store. If you're a keen reader, join a book club and even better take a leading role.
Yes, you're a technology professional but it doesn't mean that you should only go to technology conferences to network. The advantage of engaging in activities you enjoy with other people is that it makes conversation so much easier. So, there's no reason not to do a bit of networking, even when you're having an amiable conversation.
Attending gatherings where you feel comfortable helps to bring out the best in you but avoid situations where you might be stressed, rushed or distracted from your networking mission.
If you do find yourself in a room full of strangers at a technology conference or party, lead th econversation to the topics that interests you. When you talk about things you're passionate about, you will light up and appear more engaging.
Join activity clubs or grups and attend events that relate to an interest or activity you enjoy. If you enjoy wine, attend a wine tasting at your local liquor store. If you're a keen reader, join a book club and even better take a leading role.
Yes, you're a technology professional but it doesn't mean that you should only go to technology conferences to network. The advantage of engaging in activities you enjoy with other people is that it makes conversation so much easier. So, there's no reason not to do a bit of networking, even when you're having an amiable conversation.
Attending gatherings where you feel comfortable helps to bring out the best in you but avoid situations where you might be stressed, rushed or distracted from your networking mission.
If you do find yourself in a room full of strangers at a technology conference or party, lead th econversation to the topics that interests you. When you talk about things you're passionate about, you will light up and appear more engaging.
You don't have to find a shared interest to connect with others but it helps. So, ask around. Find out what the people around you what they do in their spare time.
Ask for Introductions
Shy people attending conferences tend to find one person with whom they spend all their time for the duration of the event. This is not good.
Although settling in with one person may be more comfortable for the introvert than introducing himself to lots of new people, it is an avoidance technique and completely defeats the purpose of networking.
The shy person can engage the services of a more outgoing friend and ask them to introduce them around. Equally, you can ask the one guy you have engaged with to introduce you to others that they may know. That may be and easier or softer way for shy people to meet others.
Be Generous
Sometimes shy people have trouble networking because they believe they have come along empty handed i.e. they don't think they have anything valuable or significantto give back to someone who helped them, e.g. a job or a contact.
Although networking works best when you do have something to offer, what you offer doesn't have to be a job. Sincere interest in the other person, and empty flattery, is a form of generosity and goes a long way when you're networking.
Preparation
Ask for Introductions
Shy people attending conferences tend to find one person with whom they spend all their time for the duration of the event. This is not good.
Although settling in with one person may be more comfortable for the introvert than introducing himself to lots of new people, it is an avoidance technique and completely defeats the purpose of networking.
The shy person can engage the services of a more outgoing friend and ask them to introduce them around. Equally, you can ask the one guy you have engaged with to introduce you to others that they may know. That may be and easier or softer way for shy people to meet others.
Be Generous
Sometimes shy people have trouble networking because they believe they have come along empty handed i.e. they don't think they have anything valuable or significantto give back to someone who helped them, e.g. a job or a contact.
Although networking works best when you do have something to offer, what you offer doesn't have to be a job. Sincere interest in the other person, and empty flattery, is a form of generosity and goes a long way when you're networking.
Preparation
If you're afraid you'll freeze up or get tongue-tied in a social setting, prepare yourself in advance. Think of ice-breaker questions you can ask people you meet. If you're attending an event specifically to network your way to a new job, have your personal pitch ready but keep it informal.
Also, try to anticipate questions you may be asked, such as why you're looking for a new job, and have clear, concise answers at the ready. Your delivery has to be attention grabbing, smart and /or witty, to overcome interruptions and compensate for a lack of privacy.
Follow Up /Feedback
Sharing information—whether a website, article, report or phone number—with new contacts builds your credibility. So if you promised to e-mail a report to someone you met on the plane, make sure you do that.
When you do what you've said you were going to do, it gives the other person the impression that you have integrity and can keep your word. Otherwise, you're just going to get classified as another empty schmoozer.
Feel the Fear
In the course of networking, you'll encounter people who can't or don't want to help you . That's life. Don't take it personally and don't dwell on it. It's all part of the process. It's very like the tele sales market, it's a numbers game. Play the percentages. The more you try, the more you succeed.
Take Risks
When you overcome your fear of rejection, it'll be easier to make cold calls and strike up conversations with strangers. The person sitting next to you at a banquet or on an airplane may be feeling as uncomfortable as you are and will appreciate you breaking the ice.
Follow Up /Feedback
Sharing information—whether a website, article, report or phone number—with new contacts builds your credibility. So if you promised to e-mail a report to someone you met on the plane, make sure you do that.
When you do what you've said you were going to do, it gives the other person the impression that you have integrity and can keep your word. Otherwise, you're just going to get classified as another empty schmoozer.
Feel the Fear
In the course of networking, you'll encounter people who can't or don't want to help you . That's life. Don't take it personally and don't dwell on it. It's all part of the process. It's very like the tele sales market, it's a numbers game. Play the percentages. The more you try, the more you succeed.
Take Risks
When you overcome your fear of rejection, it'll be easier to make cold calls and strike up conversations with strangers. The person sitting next to you at a banquet or on an airplane may be feeling as uncomfortable as you are and will appreciate you breaking the ice.
They just might be a fabulous contact for you or know the right person for you to talk to. You just won't know until you try.
Seek Help
If you can't open up to people, you'll never be able to network and if you absolutely can not overcome your shyness on your own, seek help. Someone who can help you understand why you're so shy and give you the tools to change. It may change your career path and it will change your life, for the better.
Seek Help
If you can't open up to people, you'll never be able to network and if you absolutely can not overcome your shyness on your own, seek help. Someone who can help you understand why you're so shy and give you the tools to change. It may change your career path and it will change your life, for the better.
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