Networking for Introverts

If the prospect of networking fills you with dread or you think it's something only extroverted people do, think again.

You don't need to have a gregarious or outgoing personality to build a network of professional contacts - in fact, your approach may be better received than the brash personality types out there.

Natural listeners
There is a misconception that only extroverts can network. Introverts in fact have some advantages: they are natural listeners and they tend to reflect before they speak. They are also sometimes better at building long-term relationships.

Regarding yourself as an introvert should not be used as an excuse for doing nothing.

Connecting with people in your search is a skill that needs practising, and the less it comes naturally, the easier you should make the first steps.

Begin with "Level 1 - Conversations" the gentlest form of networking, and one which anyone can do.

Start by talking to people you already know and trust, but talk to them in a way you've never done before.

This approach helps avoid mistakes that will feel like setbacks. Like the cold rebuff you get when you start a phone call saying "you don't know me, but...." or approaching high-level contacts too early in the process when you're still feeling bruised and you don't know what you're looking for.

Don't give people the opportunity to say "not now" or a plain "no" when you're aware how much these will set you back.

Easy targets
Nervous networkers should target the easiest people to begin with not the 'main target.'

When you pick up the phone you know that you can just begin a conversation, and you don't need to prepare a script of what you will say.

Be honest about what you're asking for - make it clear that you are setting up brief conversations with a range of people to find out what is going on in the world or in a particularly favourite sector.

Just think carefully about what to ask for and steer clear of asking for favours!

Ask people for things they are happy to talk about, but a good conversation about the world the person knows well is always welcome and don't forget to thank people properly.

Start by talking only to people you know, ask about their job or their hobbies, the universe, then ask them if they can introduce you to someone else; a proper, warm introduction, not just a name.

The big event
Once you've had a few "safe" conversations with the contacts you already know, you may wish to consider attending a more formal networking event.

Of course it can be intimidating going into a room full of strangers and feeling pressured to make contacts, but the fear of networking is often much worse than the reality.

You are all there for the same reason and you are all feeling the fear!

If you are at an event, ask one of the organisers to introduce you to others. any organiser worth their salt will be happy to facilitate this.

Do make sure that you introduce yourself clearly, so that people know your name and what you do, as this often reveals areas of common ground for conversation.

As long as you show an interest in other people and a willingness to listen, generally people will only be too happy to talk to you.

Networking from home
If you can't face wearing a name badge and making small talk, don't despair. Online forums and networking sites like LinkedIn allow you to make contact with people in your sector - without even having to leave home.

To get started, search for ex-colleagues and look for groups set up within your industry. Remember, as with most things in life, the more you put in, the more you'll get out - so be sure to post messages and join the conversation rather than just observing.

Do not rant, do not pontificate, and do not over-criticise others. Let the tolerant, thoughtful and collaborative you come through in your conversations.

Having a few open conversations online should make it easier when you take the plunge and meet up at a real life event. You'll be networking like a pro before you know it.

The Power of Introverts - TED Video

In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.

Extraverts Are Not Always the Most Successful Leaders

You may find it difficult to accept but Introverted leaders can be more effective than Extraverts in certain circumstances.

It all depends on who the leaders are managing, according to Grant and co-authors Francesca Gino of Harvard Business School and David Hofmann of the University of North Carolina's Kenan-Flagler Business School.

Their paper, forthcoming in the Academy of Management Journal, is titled "Reversing the Extraverted Leadership Advantage: The Role of Employee Proactivity."

Extraverted leadership involves commanding the centre of attention: being outgoing, assertive, bold, talkative and dominant. This offers the advantages of providing a clear authority structure and direction.

However, pairing extraverted leaders with employees who take initiative and speak out can lead to friction, while pairing the same group of employees with an introverted leader can be a pathway to success, the researchers note.

This has implications for leaders and managers at all levels who want to improve their own leadership styles.

"If you look at existing leadership research, extraversion stands out as the most consistent and robust predictor of who becomes a leader and who is rated as an effective leader," Grant says. "But I thought this was simplistic and incomplete. It tells us very little about the situations in which introverted leaders can be more effective than extraverted leaders."


Read more at www.knowledge.wharton

Extraverts Working With Introverts

We are all aware that our personality traits exist within a wide or narrow spectrum. Within that band, we can be low, moderate, or high on the introvert /extraversion trait.

If you are low in extraversion, you are referred to as being high in introversion.

While personality can help predict how someone is likely to behave, it doesn’t always determine how we behave towards them. The situation, the setting, how others act, our mood, our values, our intentions, etc – are just as likely to have an impact or force a reaction in our behaviour and actions.

None the less, the behaviours of an extreme introvert and an extreme extravert can vary so dramatically in response to an identical situation. If you are apart on th eintrovert /extravert scale then you may have difficulty understanding how and why the other person is reacting in the way they are.

To be an effective leader, you must be able to recognise and adapt your style to integrate and complement the characteristics of others. To work effectively in a team situation, it is essential that you recognise, respect, and meld with the differences of others.

Emotional Expression
One hallmark of extraverts is that they are very likely to display positive emotions whenever they feel them. In contrast, an introvert may be very happy or pleased, yet less attentive colleagues around them may not recognise a change because they are more restrained and reserved in their emotional expression.

Introverts will not jump up and down in response to a birthday gift or a promotion but you cannot assume that they are unhappy or unappreciative of the event. They are more likely to express their true emotions through words rather than actions. Remember to take those words at face value and don’t read too much into them.

Information Processing
Extraverts will express their thoughts as they occur and sometimes start talking before their thoughts are fully developd or make sense, even to them.

If introverts start taking without a plan in mind, then they will only get very embarassed and confused by the immediate feedback from their colleagues. This is especially true in problem-solving.

Don’t expect an instant answer from an introvert because they have a complex checks and balance thought process to undergo, prior to providing a response.

It's always good meeting management to provide everyone with the agenda, the problem, the questions, etc and a summary of the expected outcome or action. It maximises the contributions that everyone will make and is especially important to give the introverts a chance to pre-think their views.

In recent years, open collaboration spaces have become very popular and are great for the extraverts. However, make sure you also have private, quiet spaces where work can be done relative 'privacy' and without interruptions. Introverts work better if their 'personal space' is not invaded.

Social Interaction
It is a misconception that introverts have poor social skills or are shy. It appears this way because introverts expend more nervous energy and become drained after interacting with others and they need to recharge after such event by retreating into their 'personal space' and taking some 'alone time.'

Introverts are more likely to enjoy interacting with others one-on-one than in larger group settings. They also tend to enjoy getting to know a few people very well rather than lots of people superficially. Because introverts process information internally and in additionally complex way, they may be slow to express what they are thinking through speech. Give them time to finish expressing themselves, without interrupting.

Quick tips:

• Extraverts tend to dominate brainstorming sessions. Ask introverts for their opinion specifically in a 'round robin' manner and create an atmosphere where they can be heard without interruptions.
• Phone conversations create awkward pauses when the introvert is thinking. Use email if you want to get their clear and comprehensive thoughts around a topic.
• Introverts will often keep their emotions, interests, ideas, and thoughts to themselves. It takes time, trust, and relationship bilding to get to know them fully.
• Introverts have a larger personal space bubble and a lower tolerance for external stimuli. Hold the hugs, turn down the music, and give them some space.

Use the Power of persuasion

Are you hunting for a new job or the next step up the ladder? Well, it may come as a small surprise to you to hear that one of your main objective is simply to be persuasive.

What are the most effective approaches?

• These days networking is sited as the most effective way of finding a new job. So firstly, you need to build your personal network and then persuade the loyal members of your network to introduce you to people who might connect you with someone who knows someone ..........who has a suitable opening for you to fill.
  
• Secondly, you need to get your CV read and acknowledged. So you need to persuade HR professionals and recruiters to not just read and discard résumé but to consume, digest and ruminate over it.
  
• Having got as far as the HR dept, you need to persuade the hiring managers that you're the perfect candidate for their organisations. The missing link they have been seeking, even if they didn't realise it themselves
  

Be convincing - Some people are easier to convince in your job search than others. Getting friends and colleagues to arrange introductions for you doesn't require much persuasive effort because they know you and some may even like you or owe you money. Therefore, they're willing to play their part on your behalf. After all if the circumstances were reversed, you would do the same for them. Your powers of persuasion over your friends should stem from your mutual friendship, natural charm, credibility and likeability, not from your rhetorical prowess or physical strength.

The Gatekeeper - The hiring manager, knows nothing about you, apart from the fact that he has seen your name in a pile of CVs that need to be filtered. He has to create a short list of candidates fit for interviewing and you must be on it. How are you going to stand out from the crowd and rise loftily above the other candidates. You have to think better and work harder to convince them that you're worthy of their time. In such situations, job seekers need the advantages gained from fully understanding the fundamentals of persuasion.

Easy as ABC
Effective persuasion combines equal parts communication and observation. It hinges on having good people skills;

1. being able to read people,
2. being a good listener and
3. being empathetic.

You need to be a keen observer of the person you're trying to persuade. Otherwise how can you match the tone and language you use in conversation to the other person's tone and language. Watch how the other person reacts to what you are proposing, either physically, through their facial expressions and body language, or in their tone of voice. If you notice a negative reaction, or discomfort, you should be alerted and quickly change or slightly adjust your approach.

Under your Influence - To be an effective influencer, you also need to be likeable, outwardly open and trustworthy. It doesn't matter whether you're selling an idea, a service or a product, people tend to buy from people. If I like you, I will listen to you. If I don't like you or your message, I won't listen to you. Getting someone to listen to you is the first stage of persuasion.

Persuasion isn't inherently difficult. To do it right, people just need to focus on listening to the person they're trying to persuade and adjusting their communication accordingly.

Whether you're seeking a new job, clinging to an existing one or out to climb higher, persuading people of your value is going to be your key to success, especially during times of low market confidence and recession.

How do you persuade others without appearing pushy and what about the dangers of steamrolling people into submission. The Hard Sell!

What is one of the biggest mistakes you can make when trying to influence or persuade others?

One of the worst crimes you can commit is the lack of true or active listening. Far too many people only half-listen to other people who are speaking and the same people are equally unlikely to closely observe people either. We sentient humans have the capacity to think at four or five times the rate of someone who's speaking. Consequently, we can often listen badly because we're too busy looking ahead and formulating our responses while the other person is still speaking, or we're thinking about something else entirely, like shopping or the size of the other person's nose. We fail to pick up clues that indicate what the other person is really saying or thinking because we are not even listening.

Body Language

Observing body language is the closest we can come to mind-reading. If you make a statement, and that statement produces a grimace or a shift in posture of the other person, their body is telling you that something you said doesn't gel with them. It's a clue for you to change your tact or to inquire what it is that's bothering that person.

Negative pressure

Some individuals lack the level of people skills that are needed to persuade others. However, they can and are able to sway and influence their co-workers by taking a dominant posture. This is observeable, because they always have a response to a point or counterpoint. Their constant pressure exhaust others' patience and endurance, leading to submission. It is more like verbal tennis or squash than persuasion.

Is there anything wrong with this sporty method of persuasion if it accomplishes the persuader's goals?

Clealry. beating someone into submission is not good practice. It is not what we understand to be true persuasion. A truly persuasive person will not leave you in an exhausted state. The ultimate goal of effective persuasion, is that the relationship between the two people hasn't suffered, even after one has changed the other person's belief or behavior. There should be no 'losers' as there are in competitive sports.

Certain personality types are better at persuasion than others?

Extroverted people tend to be more persuasive than people who are prone to introversion. Extroverts are often in people facing jobs, such as sales or advertising, where they have to influence or persuade people to buy a product, take some kind of action or adopt a different lifestyle goal.

Introverted People will take jobs that are less people-focused and more facts and figures focused. They are the back-room people, often evry talented but lacking the self confidence that their knowledge should bring. Therefore, they have less experience of dealing with people than extroverts. Consequently, they don't develop the people skills that extroverts develop. It is a vicious circle that is not so easily broken.

Introverts can be good persuaders, when dealing with other introverts; people of their own type. Introverts have more difficulty in persuading extroverts because extroverts tend to speak louder and faster than introverts. Whereas, the introverts tend to conduct their interactions in a much slower manner.

Extroverts have similar difficulty in trying to persuade introverts. When you look at workplace disputes, some can be attributed to personality clashes between introverts and extroverts.

Logical arguments besides, just do it!

May I also postulate a theory that the extoverts are more emotionally open and accepting of emotive reasons for doing something. Whereas, extroverts may be less willing to expose their feelings to scrutiny and therefore take the safer option of discussions based on known facts. It is easier to dis-arm an introvert using facts and logic than it is an extravert. Discuss!

Is there a difference between persuasion and manipulation? Some people don't like the idea of having to persuade or influence others. It strikes them as unseemly, pushy or manipulative.

Persuasion is essentially about changing someone's perception, questioning their assumptions. You are trying to alter their beliefs and behaviour. Persuasion is really about moving someone from point A to point B.

Manipulation implies coercion. When we're talking about persuasion, you are seeking a win-win scenario, where both parties are happy. Manipulation implies that only one party is satisfied and the other is out-manouvred.

It's all about the approach

Manipulation is often synonymous with some kind of threat: If you don't do this, this will happen. Persuasion is a meeting of minds: You are persuading another to come around to your point of view. Ideally, no one gets hurt. You have simply changed a person's perception, not by coercion or threat.

It is better to have cross-pollination than a cross Polynesian

(old Hawaii proverb, alledgely)